That weekend I went to Circle ‘C’ Ranch to simply have a
good time with my best friends. I had no
idea what I was getting into…but God knew.
I wasn’t seeking God at the time, but HE WAS SEEKING ME. Unknown to me, He was piecing my story
together to get me to a place where my heart was ready to hear the Good News He
wanted to tell me.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Friday night, sitting in the back left corner
of the Longbranch, playing icebreaker games where some guy from our team had to
go around and pull the socks off of each member…with.his.teeth. GROSS! Then we
played the whole “whoever can eat these 3 packages of saltine crackers and
whistle first wins game”…and you know I was one of the ones up there to win it
for my team. And I was so concerned with
winning that I cheated (shows you how much I was seeking God at the time) I
slipped a package of crackers into my pocket…and only had to chew 4 as opposed
to the other persons 6. And here’s the
funny thing…I STILL lost. Talk about a
moment of humility! The rest of that
night was spent laughing, playing four square and ping-pong, and eating candy
in Miss Kate’s Place.
The next morning we got up, had breakfast and trudged up the
hill to morning chapel. Becca &
Rachel had worked at Circle ‘C’ the previous summer and knew the place inside
and out. So of course we had to sit in the
front row. Sure I went to church pretty
much every Sunday, but to sit in the front row of chapel…uncomfortable! But God knew I needed to be there, front and
center to have the best seat in the house to really hear what He had to say to
me.
I remember hearing Mr. Wes talk about heaven and hell, and
about Jesus coming to earth…sinless, blameless, perfect…to die for us. To take the weight of our sins, of our
mistakes, of our imperfect, prideful, selfish human nature, on his shoulders so
that we would be able to have a relationship with God, our Creator, and never
be separated from Him again, on earth and in heaven. I heard how it’s not about what we have done
or not done, that we can’t EARN our way into heaven.
“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he
saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his
mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the
Holy Spirit. He generously poured out
the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he
declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal
life.” This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these
teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good.
These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.” –Titus 3:4-8
God’s standard for us is not to be “good” or “good enough”
or “better than so-and-so” in the worlds eyes…but the requirement is
PERFECTION. Trust me, I’ve tried…but no
matter how hard I try I cannot be perfect.
YOU cannot be perfect. But if
that’s the requirement to get to heaven, how can we get there? By letting Jesus take those imperfections for
us. To take the punishment and wrath of
sin for us. And accepting that
gift.
“For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering
for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” -2
Corinthians 5:21
“God
saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this;
it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have
done, so none of us can boast about it.” -Ephesians 2:8-9
At the end of the service Mr. Wes gave
an invitation. An invitation to receive
Jesus, to accept the gift of salvation, for a chance to turn from our sinful
ways and turn to God, to realize all that He has sacrificed because that’s how
much HE LOVES US that God was willing to send His Son to live on earth, endure
all that we endure and more, to then die on our behalf. Sound a little far-fetched??? I thought so
too, but the question remains…if we could get to heaven ANY OTHER WAY, why did
Jesus have to die? If we could get to heaven by simply being “good people”
(whatever that looks like) why would God send His Son to be beaten and killed
on our behalf?
“Jesus
told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can
come to the Father except through me.’” – John 14:6
Honestly at the time of the invitation,
I wasn’t ready to give up my life. I
thought I had it pretty good. There were
things that I knew weren’t right, but I was having fun doing them anyways. I really thought I had it all, friends, a
successful high school athletic career, good grades, a good family…I was having
fun, not (really) getting into trouble.
But even in the midst of all that surfacey stuff…God knew I was broken,
that no matter how good I appeared to be in the world’s eyes, that I was still
a sinner to Him, doing life independent of Him…separated from him doing life my
own way, and suffering in silence because of it.
My pride wouldn’t let me say yes so I
sat in my seat until the chapel was over.
Mr. Wes came up to talk to Becca & Rachel afterwards and was
catching up on life. Then he asked me
some get-to-know-you questions…then came out with the kicker. “Are you a Christian?” and I replied with a very forceful, very
cocky… “NOPE.” So he asked me another
one. “Wouldn’t you like to know that if
you were to die tonight that you would go to heaven?” and of course I said “yes” to that one…I mean
who doesn’t want to go to heaven? Then
he explained that the only way we can get there is by accepting Jesus into our
hearts, to invite Him in to stay there.
That eternal life with God may require some hard times and hard choices
here on temporary earth. He asked then
if I wanted to pray the prayer and accept Jesus. Humbly I replied ‘yes’ and the rest is history!
Well not so much history, it’s not that
my life instantly became all sunshine and rainbows and lollipops. Living life is hard. Living life for God is
hard. Making right choices to please God
is hard. And sometimes I mess up, and
that’s ok. Jesus died for my sins…ALL OF
THEM. Past. Present. Future. Does that
mean I do what I want knowing that He will forgive me? No. I live a life that’s
dedicated to knowing God more, a life that doesn’t break His heart, a life that
is dependent on Him to provide for me, to protect me, to love me. And so far He hasn’t let me down….and He will
NEVER let me down. It’s not His
nature…He CAN’T let me down…He CAN’T lie.
“’For
I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and
not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” –Jeremiah 29:11
If you would have told me 15 years ago
that I would be a missionary in the Dominican Republic…I would have laughed in
your face. But God’s got a plan for me,
and because I trust Him and His goodness.
Little by little He’s still changing my
heart. Still teaching me new things.
Still breaking down walls that I’ve put up.
Still humbling me. Still growing me.
Still putting me in situations where I realize that I am so
not-qualified, but He is.
“I
don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have
already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which
Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not
achieved it, but I focus on this one
thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on
to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” –Philippians 3:12-14
If nothing else, regardless of what you
believe…I hope and pray that I am a reflection of Jesus to you. I hope that you can see that this is not me
being successful or confident or rich or good.
This.is.all.God. He has changed my heart and my life.
I’d love to tell you the rest of my
story or go into greater detail, but this blog is long enough already. If you’d like to hear it, comment below or
facebook me or something, I’d be happy to share!
To those who have been part of my
Christian walk over the last 15 years: THANK YOU! There are so many people I could thank
individually, but I know that you know and that God knows who you are!!!
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