Monday, February 24, 2014

Inside my Life

(Hopefully) Quick blog post to let you know all that's been going on, and what is continuing to go on in my life and the lives of the GAP students!

The last couple weeks have been crazy busy, and if I can remember correctly here's all that's been going on and short bullet points represent the thoughts going through my head since I last posted:


Frank's Birthday
Kelli's birthday
Work with Lily House January receipts and formulate a plan
Ken Ham Conference day 1
Renee's Birthday
last minute decision to let the students go to Ken Ham Conference day 2
Work with Lily House finances
Missions trip planning meeting
Finalize plans for GAP Family weekend
Take care of a sick friend
Realize that there's a HUGE snow storm everywhere in the US and that most friends and families will be delayed
FREAK OUT
Pray
Breathe
Make a list of flights being rescheduled
Make a list of flights being re-rescheduled
Work with Lily House finances
SOFTBALL GAME (we won!) & sharing the Gospel
Airport runs
Friends and Family Scorientation
Spanish class
Emanuel House
talk, pray, give out food
Josiah's House
Airport run
Capital
Airport run
San Jose
Airport run
Church
Lily House
Sunset worship service at the beach
Make a list of flights for friends and family leaving
Pasitos de Jesus
Airport run
Help with Lily House finance organization
Airport run
Small Group
GAP Staff meeting
Work with Lily House receipts
Missions trip meeting
GAP leadership meeting
San Jose
Airport run
Exhale
church
GAP Budget Meeting
Missions trip planning and re-planning
Hear that Craig & Joanna McClure will be coming with us on our missions trip
EXHALE
Missions trip meeting
Help with Lily House finances organization
Airport run
Make lists for missions trip
Make more lists for missions trip
Laundry
Clean
Pack
Blog

Which brings us to right now! We leave tomorrow morning on our missions trip to a City called Perdenales which is the most southern (western) city in the Dominican and borders Haiti.  We may even get the chance to get over to Haiti on Friday.  PRAYERS FOR SAFE TRAVEL AND FOR THE TRIP IN GENERAL ARE APPRECIATED! PRAY THAT WE SEE GOD WORKING IN OUR GROUP AND THOSE WE ARE MINISTERING TO.  We're away from Tuesday-Saturday.  I'm really excited to see what God is going to do when we are all so completely exhausted and we are COMPLETELY relying in Him for strength each day.

We return to SCORE Saturday at 6pm and my family comes in that same day at 8pm!  Excited to see them and for them to see what I do!

PS: The Friends and Family weekend was a HUGE success! It was awesome getting to know the "people behind the people" and those who are such an important part of the students lives.  We had moms, dads, families, fiances, sisters and best friends!  LOVED the time I got to spend with them!








Thursday, February 06, 2014

15 years & still so much to learn

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Today is the day.  15 years ago today…at about this time I was hearing Truth for the first time.  15 years ago today I gave my life to Jesus, I accepted Him into my heart, made Him my Savior and put Him on the throne of my life.  I’ll never forget that cold and snowy day when my life changed forever…and my eternal life changed forever.  

That weekend I went to Circle ‘C’ Ranch to simply have a good time with my best friends.  I had no idea what I was getting into…but God knew.  I wasn’t seeking God at the time, but HE WAS SEEKING ME.  Unknown to me, He was piecing my story together to get me to a place where my heart was ready to hear the Good News He wanted to tell me. 

I remember it like it was yesterday.  Friday night, sitting in the back left corner of the Longbranch, playing icebreaker games where some guy from our team had to go around and pull the socks off of each member…with.his.teeth. GROSS! Then we played the whole “whoever can eat these 3 packages of saltine crackers and whistle first wins game”…and you know I was one of the ones up there to win it for my team.  And I was so concerned with winning that I cheated (shows you how much I was seeking God at the time) I slipped a package of crackers into my pocket…and only had to chew 4 as opposed to the other persons 6.  And here’s the funny thing…I STILL lost.  Talk about a moment of humility!  The rest of that night was spent laughing, playing four square and ping-pong, and eating candy in Miss Kate’s Place. 

The next morning we got up, had breakfast and trudged up the hill to morning chapel.  Becca & Rachel had worked at Circle ‘C’ the previous summer and knew the place inside and out.  So of course we had to sit in the front row.  Sure I went to church pretty much every Sunday, but to sit in the front row of chapel…uncomfortable!  But God knew I needed to be there, front and center to have the best seat in the house to really hear what He had to say to me. 

I remember hearing Mr. Wes talk about heaven and hell, and about Jesus coming to earth…sinless, blameless, perfect…to die for us.  To take the weight of our sins, of our mistakes, of our imperfect, prideful, selfish human nature, on his shoulders so that we would be able to have a relationship with God, our Creator, and never be separated from Him again, on earth and in heaven.  I heard how it’s not about what we have done or not done, that we can’t EARN our way into heaven. 

When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.” This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.” –Titus 3:4-8

God’s standard for us is not to be “good” or “good enough” or “better than so-and-so” in the worlds eyes…but the requirement is PERFECTION.  Trust me, I’ve tried…but no matter how hard I try I cannot be perfect.  YOU cannot be perfect.  But if that’s the requirement to get to heaven, how can we get there?  By letting Jesus take those imperfections for us.  To take the punishment and wrath of sin for us.  And accepting that gift. 

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” -2 Corinthians 5:21

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” -Ephesians 2:8-9

At the end of the service Mr. Wes gave an invitation.  An invitation to receive Jesus, to accept the gift of salvation, for a chance to turn from our sinful ways and turn to God, to realize all that He has sacrificed because that’s how much HE LOVES US that God was willing to send His Son to live on earth, endure all that we endure and more, to then die on our behalf.  Sound a little far-fetched??? I thought so too, but the question remains…if we could get to heaven ANY OTHER WAY, why did Jesus have to die? If we could get to heaven by simply being “good people” (whatever that looks like) why would God send His Son to be beaten and killed on our behalf?

“Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.’” – John 14:6

Honestly at the time of the invitation, I wasn’t ready to give up my life.  I thought I had it pretty good.  There were things that I knew weren’t right, but I was having fun doing them anyways.  I really thought I had it all, friends, a successful high school athletic career, good grades, a good family…I was having fun, not (really) getting into trouble.  But even in the midst of all that surfacey stuff…God knew I was broken, that no matter how good I appeared to be in the world’s eyes, that I was still a sinner to Him, doing life independent of Him…separated from him doing life my own way, and suffering in silence because of it.

My pride wouldn’t let me say yes so I sat in my seat until the chapel was over.  Mr. Wes came up to talk to Becca & Rachel afterwards and was catching up on life.  Then he asked me some get-to-know-you questions…then came out with the kicker.  “Are you a Christian?”  and I replied with a very forceful, very cocky… “NOPE.”  So he asked me another one.  “Wouldn’t you like to know that if you were to die tonight that you would go to heaven?”  and of course I said “yes” to that one…I mean who doesn’t want to go to heaven?  Then he explained that the only way we can get there is by accepting Jesus into our hearts, to invite Him in to stay there.  That eternal life with God may require some hard times and hard choices here on temporary earth.  He asked then if I wanted to pray the prayer and accept Jesus.  Humbly I replied ‘yes’ and the rest is history! 

Well not so much history, it’s not that my life instantly became all sunshine and rainbows and lollipops.  Living life is hard. Living life for God is hard.  Making right choices to please God is hard.  And sometimes I mess up, and that’s ok.  Jesus died for my sins…ALL OF THEM. Past. Present. Future.  Does that mean I do what I want knowing that He will forgive me? No. I live a life that’s dedicated to knowing God more, a life that doesn’t break His heart, a life that is dependent on Him to provide for me, to protect me, to love me.  And so far He hasn’t let me down….and He will NEVER let me down.  It’s not His nature…He CAN’T let me down…He CAN’T lie.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” –Jeremiah 29:11

If you would have told me 15 years ago that I would be a missionary in the Dominican Republic…I would have laughed in your face.  But God’s got a plan for me, and because I trust Him and His goodness.

Little by little He’s still changing my heart.  Still teaching me new things. Still breaking down walls that I’ve put up.  Still humbling me. Still growing me.  Still putting me in situations where I realize that I am so not-qualified, but He is. 

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” –Philippians 3:12-14

If nothing else, regardless of what you believe…I hope and pray that I am a reflection of Jesus to you.  I hope that you can see that this is not me being successful or confident or rich or good.  This.is.all.God. He has changed my heart and my life. 

I’d love to tell you the rest of my story or go into greater detail, but this blog is long enough already.  If you’d like to hear it, comment below or facebook me or something, I’d be happy to share!

To those who have been part of my Christian walk over the last 15 years: THANK YOU!  There are so many people I could thank individually, but I know that you know and that God knows who you are!!!