Am I full?

Spending time in the Word has always been difficult for me. Rarely has it been something that I want to do, and more often than not, I find I'm reading and studying more out of an act of obedience. But it's when I really open my heart and am willing to read and study the Bible that I see things I haven't seen before, or learn things about myself and my faith that I tucked away deep inside.

Last October I was kind of forced into going to a Women's Retreat with The Chapel at Crosspoint's women's ministries. I only knew a handful of people, and even those women I didn't know that well: enter me out of my comfort zone. I'm glad I went, as is pretty much always the case when God gets me out of my comfort zone...I got to spend some great time and further friendships and also got to hear Lysa TurKeurst, the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries speak. Ever since then I've been reading her books and following her blog.

Lysa is taking her blog readers through Philippians, starting in Chapter 1 and teaching how to pick up on words and phrases that speak to them in that moment. I'm a day off in reading, as I just started digging into Ch 1 today, and had to stop at verse 11 because I found so much truth in those first 11 verses that it's all my brain can process for the day.

When reading some of Lysa's blog comments, it's amazing how 30 verses can speak differently to so many people, each verse revealing something different to every person. The Bible truly is the living word, showing everyone something different depending on their circumstance, struggle, and what they need to hear most in that specific moment...and yet it all being 100% truth.

While reading a few verses stuck out to me: vs. 3-4; 6; 9-10; & 11 ...can you see why I had to stop after verse 11? SO MUCH TRUTH...CANNOT PROCESS IT ALL!

I wanted to focus on verse 11: "May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God." (emphasis mine)

When I am full, I don't want anything else to eat...my body has taken all it needs and I don't require any more, and at times where I'm really full, nothing else even sounds good. The thought of filling myself with anything else is even painful. When we are told to "always be filled with the fruit of your salvation", we need to look at it the same way. To be full with salvation means that we shouldn't want anything else, if we are truly full.

So are we? Am I? Am I really full with my salvation? If I am then I should want nothing else. I shouldn't look to anything else to satisfy me: not success, not money, not relationships. Jesus owes me NOTHING.

He gave his life for me...and that should be enough to fill me until my last day on earth.