I'm grateful for being able to start a new week here in the DR. Things can be pretty unpredictable around here, and I get frustrated when all of the planning and pre-planning gets trashed sometimes 5 minutes before the thing that I "planned" was about to happen. They say that the one of the most used words of a missionary's vocabulary is the word "flexible"…but at times it is used so often that we refer to it as the dreaded "f-word".
I realized that I have become spoiled in my 3rd-world-country living. Spoiled because we have air conditioning, spoiled because I have amazing people around me that speak Spanish really, REALLY well. Spoiled because I have really great students that are working their tails off and whole-heartedly seeking the Lord. I haven't really needed to be flexible much in the last 2 months…until last week and I didn't handle it well. I may have hit something (not someone, some thing), I may have thrown something, I may even have spoken harshly or shed a tear in frustration. Looking back it wasn't that big of a deal and in an ideal world of ample sleep, ample alone time, more God and less Jaime it would have been handled much differently….but as it happened, it wasn't handled well. I had a bad day and I forgot how to be flexible.
Being a perfectionist, I hold myself to a very high standard of living, of seeing, of responding, of anticipating, and of knowing…probably to the point where it can be a fault (and some have even suggested I should speak to a counselor friend about it!!) I also know that my actions and reactions not only affect me, but the other 15 people I lead. I have an audience all the time. My decisions affect many others and in that there is a lot of pressure as well. I am in a good rhythm of seeking the Lord daily, and most days it is before I interact with anyone…but even while doing that early in my day, I forget to seek the Lord THROUGHOUT the day as well.
But even in the midst of my "worst day yet" the Lord was gracious to me. He sent me multiple people to talk to that day…people I don't normally talk to on a daily basis...into my life. CRAZY.FAITHFUL.GOD.
A friend recently posted this scripture on her blog and it caught my attention last night when I was reading it. I've read it before and know that it impacts me every time...maybe I should memorize?
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly, He delights in EVERY DETAIL of their lives.
Though they stumble, they WILL NEVER fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."
- Psalm 37:23-24
I am (you are) one of the "godly" and because of that He DELIGHTS in EVERY.SINGLE.STINKIN.DETAIL of my (your) life. EVERY ONE! "Though they stumble"...not IF they stumble...THOUGH they stumble. We will stumble, we will mess up, BUT WE WILL NEVER FALL. If we are 'godly', if we are pursuing Him, we will NEVER FALL because He has us. He HOLDS our hand.
I've seen the following commercial while in the States and it makes me laugh every time. I love it. I truly believe this can parallel our relationship with the Lord…as He being the father, and us being the children. Obviously it's a car commercial…and who knows, can I stretch it so far to say that the Lord even creates environments (cars) for us to keep us safe?
I know that there will be times I will stumble.
I know that there will be times I will fail.
I know that there will be times where my old self will come out.
AND
I know that God will never let me fall.
He has me.
I will be ok.
I know that my life (in pictures) looks like sunshine and smiles and beaches and paradise. But I assure you that is not always the case for me, for the leadership staff, and for the students. So please continue to pray that we choose God daily. That we choose to love one another. That we remain flexible. That we can let the little stuff roll right off our backs. That we get proper rest, time in the Word, time with the Lord. That we remain safe and healthy. That we will not let satan have a foothold in our lives.
I am grateful for the times we can get away to a new environment and to be rejuvenated and refreshed. Sometimes sunshine, smiles and beaches are necessary to combat the toughness of life down here. It is definitely a balance…a balance I try and plan! ;)
Here are some pictures of the last couple weeks that have helped the scales to balance!
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| Pictures of our Mountain Retreat in Jarabacoa. It was a weekend full of reflection time, starry nights, quiet moments, cool evenings and a little bit of adventure. We also celebrated the students being here 2 months…time is flying! |
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| We had some more adventures heading to the north part of the island to jump off cliffs and swim in caves at Dudu Lake. The sign reads "I am in Dudu" ;P |
